Celtic Football Club’s manager Tony Mowbray looks out over the vast wasteland of a ten point gap behind Rangers in the SPL. The howling of the wind in the wilderness Celtic currently inhabit is still not loud enough to drown out the cries of anguish of the club’s devoted fans. So how does Mowbray boost morale? Unaccountably, he gives vent to a tirade of abuse of one of his star players Aiden McGeady.

A quick recap for those who do not inhabit the planet Footie: McGeady complained that referee Dougie MacDonald was not impartial. Mowbray’s response? “I‘m pretty sure he doesn’t know what the word means.”  Bad enough, but that was just the start. Warming to his theme, Mowbray explained: “I think probably Aiden got baffled by the science of the words”. What does this say about McGeady? Nothing. What does it say about Manager Mowbray? That the strain has finally got to him. This is evidence of someone cracking under the pressure of repeated failure. And it could not be a worse process of communication.

Our advice? The audience is first in everything you do – think of them first, and you won’t go wrong. For Mowbray the audiences are many and varied. Fans. Journalists. Investors. The Team. The result of his unguarded (we hope) remarks? Complete lack of respect from fans. Derision from journalists. Nervous anxiety amongst investors. And a team that won’t do anything for you. Well…it’s a result.

When Toyota’s President Akio Toyoda finishes speaking before the House of Representatives Committee on Oversight and Government Reform in Washington later today, Toyota shares may drop, but he will have done the right thing.

After presiding over the most inept crisis communications plan in recent corporate history, Toyoda will tell his audience worldwide that he takes personal responsibility for the crisis, and the ultimate burden of sorting it rests with him. The chain of events has been entirely logical in the Japanese way – which is why it will ultimately work, even though it appears baffling to Western eyes.

The Japanese do not put PR above all else as some organisations do – their view is: why bother with the message when much hard thought needs to go into getting the product and the probity right. This is still an island in the Pacific which operates to centuries-old traditions and values developed completely independently from the rest of the planet. That explains the complete lack of publicity when the first problems came to light. And it explains the astonishingly raw ‘mea culpa’ from Toyoda, and the fact that, now it has been completed, a full transcript has been sent to every news organisation in the world before it is delivered to the Committee.

In Toyoda’s speech, the essential rules of crisis management are rigorously followed. A full acceptance of the seriousness of the situation. Personal responsibility. Clear analysis of the root cause. Apology. Robust plan of action to deal with it. It may appear much too late for the frantic appetite of the Western press. But it is right, and it will ensure Toyota’s survival.

When Tiger eventually emerged from the Woods, it was to show the world that even the richest sportsman in the world can be crippled by nerves, and even the wealthiest performer can be let down by poor equipment. The signs weren’t good from the start.

After the catastrophic strategy of disappearing from sight and remaining completely silent while the media gleefully described domestic mayhem of jaw-dropping intensity and the worldwide web nearly melting from “hole in one” jokes (sample – it’s curtain up on a new Christmas panto: Woods In The Babes), Woods decided to “set the record straight” after only three long, long months. The words were there: foolish, irresponsible, not acceptable. Bitterly disappointed. No questions – better not to speak directly, just read from script. Journalists were thumbing through yellowed notes of the case, it happened so long ago. Then – oh joy! – they got their story.

As Tiger dragged his Cross down the Via Dolorosa the world fell silent and dark. Or rather, the camera broke down. Darkness stalked the land until a smaller secondary camera flickered to life, showing a curiously box-like picture of the side of Tiger’s face. Memo, not to the golfing superstar, but to the many legions of apparently highly paid and useless communication experts who flock around to touch his garment…human beings value honest speech they can trust more than anything else. Don‘t try to manipulate the very people who made him a star. They know how to do the opposite.

As Tiger Woods prepares to speak publicly for the first time since his fall from grace, it’s questionable whether a public, stage managed apology will really cut it. Once one of the most marketable sportsmen on the planet, no one has destroyed a reputation faster than Wood’s did this year.

With his speech expected to take place in Florida and his return to golf scheduled for the end of March, his come back seems inevitable. Woods has long had the reputation for being the epitome of self-control; however this time at least some sort of emotion in his pre-written speech is needed. If he is not open with the media his speech will be seen as nothing more than an attempt to dismiss his damaging behaviour and get back to the money making.

People want answers and visible remorse and it’s for this very reason that only a select few will be present at his speech, to avoid any awkward probing. No doubt Tiger will recite his pre-written words with robotic perfection, but only time will tell whether this will be enough to win back his public, and as a result his sponsors.  If he does manage to bounce back form this, let’s just hopes he’s decided honesty really is the best policy, as if anymore damaging stories are revealed his sponsors will run a mile, for good.

Sky News reports today that Bill Nighy, the veteran British actor, has obviously touched a raw nerve in the City.

Nighy’s endorsement of a global ‘Robin Hood Tax’ on the world’s banks attracted international media coverage earlier this week. In a short film to promote the launch, Nighy plays a banker who eventually agrees to a 0.05% tax on international bank transactions to raise up to £250bn annually to fight poverty and climate change in the UK and abroad.

And on the website www.robinhoodtax.org supporters of the idea (slogan: “not complicated, just brilliant”) registered their enthusiasm in their thousands.

Until, that is, 3.41 on the afternoon of the day of the launch, when the team behind the website noticed that opponents of the tax were suddenly registering votes at the rate of six every second. Within five minutes, the ‘No’ votes had soared from 1500 to 8000.

The site was promptly closed down, and after some investigation, the Robin Hood Tax team tracked the address on their database server from which the thousands of ‘No’ votes had emerged to a domain name registered to the London offices of…Goldman Sachs.

A Robin Hood Tax Campaign spokesperson said: “We’re delighted with the reception our proposal has received in little over a day since we launched and it’s great that public support for a tax on banks’ financial transactions is making people in the City of London sit up and notice.

“With millions suffering as a result of an economic crisis they did nothing to cause, it will take more than a few dubious no votes on our website to undermine support for a tiny tax on banks to fund action on climate change and tackle poverty at home and abroad.”

As I write, the vote counter stands at 20307 in favour and 2574 against.

A Goldman Sachs spokesperson said: “We have just received this information and are investigating the matter fully.”

Oh dear.

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1. Tiger Woods infidelity claims

What a disaster 2009 proved to be for billionaire golfer Tiger Woods, where he was linked to a string of women all claiming to have had affairs with him. The golfer’s previously squeaky-clean image suffered a devastating blow, after details of the infidelities hit the headlines. Not only was Woods critisised for the alleged affairs, but also for his mishandling of the aftermath, where he waited two days to comment on the accusations. Maybe a faster public response from the golfer would have saved his now tattered reputation, and his sponsor’s shareholders wouldn’t have lost an estimated £7.2 billion in the process.

2. Gordon Brown’s condolence letter

Gordon Brown faced a public backlash this year, after sending a letter of condolence to the mother of Afghanistan war victim, Jamie Janes. The letter which was handwritten by the Prime Minister was littered with misspellings, where he even addressed the mother as “Mrs James”. A Downing Street spokeswoman for the Prime Minister claims that he spends “a great deal of time” writing personal condolence letters and would never knowingly misspell a name. If this is the case then maybe his people need to check his letters a bit more carefully to avoid future blunders.

3. Harry’s racism comments

The Royal Family suffered an embarrassing revelation at the start of 2009, when video footage of Prince Harry making a racist remark to a Pakistani member of his platoon was leaked to the public. The prince, who is third in line to the thrown, was left red-faced after the video showed him calling a platoon member a “rag-head” amongst other things. The Prince’s spokesman quickly tried to make amends by stating that the comments were made in a friendly way, however his mock-phone call to his grandmother, which he ended with “god save you” proved to be a bit harder to dismiss.

4. Chris Brown’s assault charge

Never has a pop star tarnished his own reputation as quickly as Chris Brown did, after news of his physical attack on pop-star girlfriend Rihanna went public this year. Chris Brown was charged with assault, and after pictures of Rihanna’s disfigured face were leaked online the demise of his career seemed imminent. After being given the opportunity to speak about the incident on Larry King Live, instead of delivering the heart-felt apology the public was anticipating his reply was: “I was just like wow”. Needless to say sales of his new album “Graffiti” were at an all time low when it was released in December.

5. Serena William’s tennis outburst

Serena Williams proved to be a sore loser after her dramatic outburst at the US Open Semi-Finals this year. She challenged a female line judge at the match, where she swore at her, threatening to shove the ball down her throat. When asked at a press conference whether she would apologise she seemed genuinely shocked that this would be a possibility, claiming that everyone does it. Maybe if somebody had explained to Serena the importance of a public apology, she might have avoided the $82,500 fine she had to pay.

6. Domino’s Pizza health and safety blunder

It wasn’t fast food giant Domino’s finest moment this year, when the global pizza company had to face millions of angry customers after a video of staff members tampering with food was posted on YouTube. The company’s spokesman quickly issued a press release claiming that there was no evidence the tampered food had been served to anyone. However they had obviously underestimated the power of YouTube, where the video plays reached one million before it got removed and they had a flood of enraged customers to deal with.

7. Kerry Katona’s very public meltdown

Kerry Katona appeared to win the nation over after her appearance on I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here in 2004. Fast forward a couple of years and things seem to be on a downward spiral for the ex-popstar, when she became linked to a string of drug abuse claims. Her spokesman denied all rumours of course, however it may have been a little embarrassing this year when video-footage of Katona taking cocaine was splashed across the internet. Not surprisingly Kerry lost her Iceland ad contract and is now facing bankruptcy.

8. Kate’s pro-anorexia remark

It is safe to say Kate Moss has become an iconic figure to many during her 20 year modelling career. Maybe her iconic status however, hasn’t brought with it the realisation of the massive impact her comments will have. In a rare online interview this year she stated how “nothing tastes as good as skinny feels”, which caused a public outcry as many feared this would encourage victims of eating disorders. The whole disaster suggests that modelling does not teach tactfulness.

9. Cheryl Cole’s L’Oreal criticism

Cheryl’s career seems to have gone from strength to strength since she joined chart-toppers Girls Aloud. However nobody can be perfect all the time and Cheryl Cole faced criticism after saying the famous “because you’re worth it” words on a L’Oreal hair ad this year. Woman quickly realised if they wanted hair like Cheryl’s they would need to fork out a lot more than the price of shampoo to achieve it. The Girls aloud star’s hair was styled with “natural extensions” for the ad and woman felt misled as no amount of shampoo would give them those locks. An unusual blunder for Cheryl which could have been easily avoided by ditching the fake hair and opting for the natural look.

10. Gordon Ramsay’s fast-food slip up

The Michelin star chef faced a rather embarrassing revelation earlier this year, when it became apparent that the food he sold in restaurants was prepared in bulk offsite, and then transported into his kitchens to be re-heated. Ramsay, who has always stressed the importance of freshly prepared food, insisted that the meals are indeed still freshly prepared. Customers failed to sympathise however after learning that the boil-in-the-bag style meals are often sold for six times the cost price after being heated up again. The restaurant profits obviously weren’t enough for his company, Gordon Ramsay Holdings, as the television chef came close to losing the business empire this year and had to resort to selling his prized Ferrari to raise much needed cash.

Make sure you are not mentioned on any ‘PR Blunder’ lists – call Media Mentor on 0800 032 1127.

Suddenly, the entire self-respect of a nation hangs on the actions of one man. No, not Terry. Max Clifford. Strange how when nobody can make sense of a confused situation Max is always there to steer the media and the actual people involved through it all.

It will work out as Max wants it to. Only he could persuade everyone that his client, Vanessa Perroncel is the only innocent party in all of this. “If it had been down to her none of this would ever have got into the public domain” he says. So that’s why bidding for her story is reported to have topped £250,000?

When in trouble, always signal loud and clear that you understand the public’s views (even if you don’t agree with them) – that’s a golden rule we emphasise time and again throughout our crisis training courses. Would that the MPs, or the social worker in charge of the Baby Peter case had listened….and now the hapless Baroness Ashton finds herself in the firing line for the same reason.

Just weeks into the job as The European Union’s Foreign Affairs Minister defended her decision not to show Europe’s support for the people of Haiti by saying “I’m neither a doctor nor a fireman”. Well, Hilary Clinton is neither of those things, but she flew to Haiti within hours of hearing of the country’s devastation.

While on Air Force One she called her European counterpart. No reply from the office of Britain’s High Representative. Why? It had gone six pm and the Baroness was on the train to London, heading for an early start to the weekend at home. So the US, whose aid is one quarter that of the EU, got all the publicity, and Hilary was seen on screens throughout the world. As French journalists are saying of the Baroness Ashton, she doesn’t cut “le moutard”.

Rather like former Home Secretary Michael Howard’s famously endless ability to twist and spin so that Jeremy Paxman’s questions failed again and again to elicit a straight answer, Lord Goldsmith answered a question with a question, posed philosophical conundrums and generally cast doubt about the very purpose of the entire enquiry.

Then he made one fatal mistake. Asked if he felt under pressure over the possibility of not going ahead with the Iraq conflict he overstated his case. “Not at all” he said. Collapse of credibility – nothing is ever that simple.